Goa... December 2005.... W00t for me

Hey hey hey..
I'm in goa... 4th time this year!

And now.. wow..
for the first time in my life... I'm happy..

Not jumpy crazy happy.. well... maybe a bit of it..

But more of a serene calming warmth....I really need better words to describe it..

The reason for all of this is sitting right next to me.. chatting with her friends from back home...
Kirsten... :) damn.. I love her so much.


Alright, so this is a completely new area for me. I've never been in a proper "relationship" before,
Being in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way, for no matter how long doesn't count as a relationship..... so then, technically, this is my first real relationship.

Everything else I've had before have only been flings .. specially when I compare them to this...

She is so much more to me... and I am to her..

It's nice to be so confident and comfortable with someone.. so secure and peaceful.

We got into this knowing fullwell that there is going to be very very difficult in the long run.

We liked each other the first few times we met.... she admits it, she hit on me.. not the other way round.
This is very true,... I didn't get the hint till she made it obvious.. :)
We got together on like the 4th day after we met...
After she went back to Jaipur, I decided to keep in touch.. but really didn't expect anything.
She was someone who I just really liked.. but by now I had almost learned to expec that nothing would work out for me.. so I never really pursued her ... well.. I did call her in Jaipur... But honestly.. I just loved talking to her.
It wasn't because I was lonely.. or that I was just physically attracted to her... I just wanted to talk to her.. to know her better.. yadda yadda.. -->Insert all other corny lines here<--
So.. well.. we hit it off...

1 month or so later she starts getting really pissed at me.. and I had no idea why.. Kept slamming the phone down...!

Well, eventually I was in goa, on holiday (sometime in September) that it was because she loved me..
and blah..I told her I loved her.. (the battery died after she told me she loved me.. so she thought I hung up... or maybe I did.. no.. don't remember..) either way,..we figure we loved each otheer..

3 months of phone talk ..(she flew down to mumbai for a week... it was good, but we had trouble adjusting to each other).. well.. like I was saying.. so after all this time, we've met in Goa..
will be heading to kerala tomorrow (19th), then calcutta on the 26th.,.

I will then proceed to leave the love of my life..(and I mean that) on the 1st of January..
She heads of to Bangladesh, then back home to America.. leaving poor ol' me behind.


A while back, when we were deciding what to do after she left, I being the practical person I am wanted to handle it the simplest way possible...- Quick clean break.

..
:) now I've changed my mind.. She doesn't really believe that I'll still want to be together after she leaves.. she thinks i'll change my mind...
...
I hope she;s wrong.. who knows..
Righjt now though.. I don't want to break up.. no matter how tough..

MORE DETAILS LATER : THIS IS INCOMPLETE.

--> HEading out for cookies with the girls..
(btw, I'm 1 guys with 4 girls.. in goa... People think I'm some kinda supa cool dood./..hahahahha)